Newsflash: BP to stop drilling relief well, will plug leak with Joran van der Sloot
I am going to start this post with a brief departure from beer, so I can rant about a couple of things first.
Let’s start with this Joran van der Sloot piece of crap. This “man” deserves to be put in general population of that Peruvian prison… and he must shower with powdered soap. This is the deal. This kid has built this entire persona as a perpetual liar. He has confessed and retracted and back pedaled on so many different allegations over just the past five years that no one at this point could possibly believe anything he has to say. As far as a scam artist goes, this guy has done pretty well for himself. Unfortunately, the Feds dropped the ball recently in Aruba, and another young lady is dead. He confessed to the second murder, then retracted saying he “was scared”… as Sherman T. Potter would have said “Son, that is a big load of horse puckey”. This kid is just following his M.O. in the hopes that the authorities screw something up and he gets let off on a technicality. Like I said, throw him in general population in a pair of ass-less chaps. He will quickly understand justice.
Next up is this whole “Big Oil is SATAN!!!!!” nonsense. It isn’t Big Oil that is evil, it is the administration at BP. I am actually a bit conflicted on this topic, because I started my working career in the oil and gas industry. For 18 long months, I worked in quality control on an exploration vessel in the Gulf of Mexico. We did not actively rape and pillage the Earth, though we did help acquire the data for our contracted companies to do so. I actually worked on a couple of surveys for BP (back when they were still mostly British). They weren’t overly demanding, and since we did not drill test wells or anything, my life was never in imminent danger due to explosion… except on chili night, but I digress. This is what I am taking out of this particular situation:
The oil industry is not bad in, and of, itself. Our particular operation was quite environmentally conscious. Any spill was quickly contained, we did not jettison non-biological material (and the biomass we did discharge was processed and treated before it became effluent), and from what I saw the very few times I was actually on a drilling platform, every process was performed with the utmost care to worker and environmental safety.
BP, however, in their quest to pull in a larger profit margin than their competitors cut very significant corners against the advice of the two companies that they were operating the Deepwater Horizon with (TransOcean and Halliburton). BP dug this hole for themselves, quite literally and figuratively. Now, unfortunately, an entire ecosystem will suffer for many years to come and many families will, for all intents and purposes, lose their livelihood. F-you Britain! At least when we polluted our own waters it was tea, and the fish and lobsters only got hyper.
Should the Gulf disaster lessen our search for alternative, renewable resources? Not at all. There were only so many dinosaurs and prehistoric flora that died and were compressed. We will run out of oil eventually. Oil shale extraction still is not a viable alternative, cars can’t run on NG, and bio-fuels are no more “green” than traditional fuels. I don’t have any solutions or suggestions as to where we go… maybe nuclEar (that’s for you, GHW) power and fuel cells and electric vehicles will start getting more funding….
OK. Now that that is off my chest, let’s get to the beer! As I mentioned in my last post, I have had a “trouble batch”. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t get it brewed. Mishaps, commitments, sunburn, fatigue and hangovers were keeping this beer from being born. I took a step back from this recipe, re-evaluated it, and decided it wanted to be a Double IPA. I also knew that Father’s Day was looming. My lovely wife, Stacie, and I have an understanding: On Mother’s Day, she lifts not a finger for any reason. On Father’s Day, I brew beer.
Father’s Day was yesterday, and I really could not have picked a more beautiful day to brew. I started the weekend thinking I would get that IPA done, then I was requested to brew a batch of our Hippy Bro Nut Brown Ale for a friend. DUAL BREW DAY!!!! I actually kept a half-assed log throughout the brewday complete with times. I will list that out at the end so you all can see how the day progressed. First, here are the recipes:
- Hippy Bro Nut Brown Ale
recipe for 5.25 gallons,brewed on6/20/2010
- 8lbs Fawcett Optic Pale Malt
- 1 lbs British Mild malt
- 3/4lbs Cara-Amber
- 1/4lbs Crystal60*l
- 1/4lbs Crisp Brown Malt
- 1/4lbs British Chocolate malt
- 1oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) as First Wort hops
- 1oz Nugget pellet hops (13%AA) added at 60 minutes… I just realized writing this that the recipe called only for 1/2oz…oooops!
- 1oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) added at 5 minutes
- WYeast 1028 London Ale yeast
- Expected starting gravity: 1.054 with 5.75g in carboy
- SRM(color) 31
- IBU 67 (would be 37 but for adding too many Nugget hops)
2. WWW.IPA.COM (original recipe may be found here)
recipe for 5 gallons, brewed on 6/20/2010
- 15lbs Fawcett Optic Pale Malt
- 2lbs Vienna Malt
- 3/4 lbs Dark Munich
- 1/4lbs Crystal 60*L
- 1/4lbs Cara-Amber
- 1lb Light Muscovado sugar added with 10minutes left
- 2oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) as First Wort hops
- 3/4oz Warrior pellet hops (17.2%AA) added at 60minutes
- 1/2oz Perle pellet hops (8.3%AA) added at 60minutes
- 1oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) added at 20minutes
- 1oz Amarillo pellet hops (8.7%AA) added at 10 minutes
- 3/4oz Warrior pellet hops (17.2%AA)added between 5 and 0 minutes
- 1oz Willamette whole hops(5.5%AA) added between 5 and 0 minutes
- 1.5oz Perle pellet hops (8.3%AA) added between 5 and 0 minutes
- WYeast 1084 Irish Ale yeast cake from Smoked Irish Red
- Expected OG: 1.092 with 5.5 gallons in carboy
- SRM: 15.3
- IBU: 132 (human taste threshold is 80-90, anything above is for bragging rights)
Now, this is how the brewday went down:
- 9:30 got woken up by a kid yelling in my ear that it was time to get out of bed
- 9:45 showered and dressed, strike water has been measured for the Double IPA (DIPA)
- 10:00 Burner is lit to heat the strike water for the DIPA. Begin crushing grains for both batches to be brewed. Water is measured for the Brown Ale and set aside until burner is free
- 10:38 The DIPA is mashed in into the Igloo cooler-tun. Strike water was heated to 164*F so the mash stabilized at 150*F (Our oldest daughter was kind enough to inform me at this point that I had already added the 5.2 mash stabilizer to the strike water. She will be a brewster yet!)
- 10:55 The Hippy Bro is mashed in right in the kettle. Strike water was heated to 165*F so the mash stabilized at 154*F
- 11:50, sparge water put onto the burner to heat for the Brown Ale
- 12:20 Sparge water for Brown Ale reaches 175, and sparging begins and runs for the next 45 minutes
- 1:00 Burner is turned on after 3 gallons have been collected for the Brown Ale
- 1:20 Brown Ale reaches a boil
- 2:20 Brown Ale boil is complete, chilling begins. Sparge water for the DIPA is put on the burner to heat to temperature
- 3:00 Brown Ale is done and in the carboy
- Vital Statistics for the Brown Ale
OG measured 1.052 with 5.3gal in the carboy for system
efficiency of 71%
- 3:20 IPA Sparge is started. The first runnings were absolutely clear of grain particules before I had even run off a quart of liquid. All hail the braided hose!!! Sparging runs for next 50 minutes
- 4:00 Burner is turned on after 2.5 gallons have been collected for the DIPA
- 4:30 DIPA reaches a boil
- 5:35 DIPA boil is finished and chilling starts
- 6:15 DIPA is done and in the carboy.
- Vital Statistics for the DIPA
OG Measured 1.092 with 5.6 gallons in the carboy for system
efficiency of 70%
- 7AM 6/21: DIPA has begun blowoff. Additional cold water added to container bin, airlock replaced with sanitized AL foil. No signs of life from Brown
- 7PM 6/21 DIPA blowoff finished. Still nothing from the Brown (no starter was prepared
So, that was my brew day/ Father’s Day this year. A good, solid 9 hours of brewing under absolutely crystal clear skies. The slight breeze off of Lake Ontario made it bearable to stand next to large volumes of boiling liquids all day. It also made the sunshine seem much more innocuous than it really was. Another weekend, another sunburn, but I just consider it job security since the company I work for designs and manufactures microscopes for non-invasive skin cancer imaging.
We will update on these beers once they are near or at their completion. Until then, Cheers, brew well and live even better.
RYW
Change you can believe in
I am proud to announce that, by unanimous decision, I am the undisputed champeen President of the Upstate New York Homebrewer’s Association for 2010 *cue Rocky music*.
I have a couple of cool things I would like to have the club do in the coming year, or at least get the ball rolling towards having said things occur in the future. It will be a fun time for all (no matter how crazy Tony thinks I am for doing this), and I am looking forward to getting right into the fray. I don’t want to get too far into my plans or ideas here, as this particular site is not entirely the proper forum for such things. Just know that I have some good stuff rolling around in the large void between my ears. As things get in the planning stages and whatnot, I will be sure to update, but for now it is neither the time, nor the place.
OK, so now that that is out of the way, do we all remember these guys? This week marked another of their forays into beer journalism. As many of you can tell by the lack of vitriol, though, this article did not pertain to homebrewing. Rather, this week’s article dealt with beer festivals. To be completely honest, I really have no major issues with the article this week.
Actually, I will take that back. I DO have an issue with the article this week. Not with the content itself, but rather what it is lacking: that English Bitter recipe.
Let’s face it, we’ve been hoodwinked. They promised to not only guide us through the homebrewing process, but also the equipment and ingredient requirements necessary to brew an English Bitter. So, what gives, Adam and Bryan? I can only assume that one of two things happened:
- They were limited to three articles on the homebrewing process, and were too verbose in the first two articles to complete the series and give the reading public what was promised.
- They read blogs like mine, or have received many outraged emails detailing the failings of their tutorial and simply threw their hands to the sky in exasperation and futility.
OK, my arguments this week are very feeble. Like I said, I really have no issue with their recommendations for how to enjoy a beer festival. The only point I would probably broach is that they did not mention is the idea of doing a beer review based off of a festival pour. My thoughts are quite simply, don’t do it.
Look, generally, if you are going to review a beer, you have a 12oz “sample” in front of you. It is very difficult to adequately review a beer based off of a 2oz pour. With a full 12 ounces, you can more fully experience the beer as it warms from serving temperature until the entire beer is gone. As the beer warms, you will experience changes in aroma and flavor that are simply not present in a 2oz pour that is very easily “shot” so your glass is empty for the next sample. If you want to review beer that you drink at a festival, go about it this way:
- find the brewery that has piqued your interest and ask if they have any new releases or “festival only” beers on tap
- if it is a new release, ask if it has hit store shelves yet, and request this as your sample. If you dig the sample, make a note of it and purchase a more suitable reviewing sized bottle at your local beer or grocery store.
- if there is a “festival only” beer, request that as your sample, and if the line behind you permits, request another sample when the first is finished. If you feel the need to revisit the beer later, head back to that booth and get a third sample. It still won’t be a full serving size (12oz), but you will have a much better feel for the beer after a couple of samples than if you base everything on a 2oz “shooter”.
- Don’t be “THAT GUY” that stands in the middle of everything plugging your review into Beer Advocate on your iPhone. If you insist on writing notes down on festival-only brews, wait until you get home to upload them onto your computer.
- Realize that very often breweries will not send THE brewer to a beer festival. While there are exceptions to this, it is very often a brewery rep or an intern that is at the taps. And technically, in NY, brewery reps and employees are not allowed to actually pour the beer. This is why you see so many people walking around in “Volunteer” shirts. Stupid Draconian alcohol laws.
- Brewers are not impressed when beer geeks ask how many IBUs are in a particular beer, or when you (the all-knowing beer geek and self-righteous homebrewer) suggest that they use a different variety of hops. And again, most often it is not the brewer behind the counter but a rep or an intern that will look at you like the RCA dog as you spout off technical data that makes no sense to the beer you are talking about….the only thing more sad than a sad midget clown is a drunk beer snob that thinks they know how a professional brewer should do their job.
That’s about all I have on this one. Like I said, it was pretty much a cut-and-dry article this week. I would actually like to take a moment to display a rare moment of humble-ocity (yeah, it is a word, I just wrote it on the internet so it has to be true!!!!) and say that I harbor no ill feelings towards the Keg Lines guys. Hey, anyone that is willing to write about beer in a newspaper and try to advocate for its movement away from the “unsophisticated man’s” drink deserves at least 1 thumb up in my book. So they got some stuff wrong, it really isn’t the end of the world.
As the new President of UNYHA, I am sure that I will be having some correspondence with Adam and Bryan at some point. Heck, I will even step right out and offer for them to join us at a club meeting if they are not already members of the club (2nd Weds of every month at 7:30, Merchants St. Bar and Grill 2nd floor).
Yep, that’s it. I’ve got nothing more. I plan to brew this Sunday for Father’s Day (…oh yeah. Hey Stacie, I am brewing on Father’s Day. Thanks, love you!). I am not completely decided on what I will be brewing. I really want that IPA to get brewed, but I also owe a batch of Hippy Bro Nut Brown Ale to a friend. Perhaps I will get to pull two batches out in one day.
Stay tuned for the fun-filled description of events yet to transpire.
The thing that should not be
I have Metallica in heavy rotation on my Pandora radio today.
There is a beer that I just cannot seem to get brewed. Various brewing mishaps (detailed in humorous glory below), weather, and ill health in the form of over-indulgence the night prior have made the brewing of this beer seemingly unattainable. The Beer Gods simply will not allow me to experiment.
It starts a few weeks back, when Tony and Joel came over so we could brew our club-sanctioned batch of beer using cocoa-nibs. The premise of the beer is simple. Everyone in the club gets together in various teams, and devises a recipe that would utilize cocoa nibs. The only “rule” was that our base recipe could not have chocolate malt as a part of the grainbill. This makes sense, as the goal of this mini-competition is to highlight the various flavors that can be coaxed from cocoa nibs. They will not provide only a chocolate flavor and/or aroma. At times, they will be fruity, at times chocolatey, and there are other flavors and aromas which escape me at the moment.
We decided to use my Tasti Sparrow Porter as the base recipe for our team beer. (Coincidentally, our team was dubbed “The Bearded Clan” by the club coordinator given the preponderance of facial hair that the three of us possess and the name suggests a funny double entendre). I did have to modify the recipe to exclude the normal 1-1/2lbs of Chocolate malt. I did this by increasing the amount of Black Patent and also including some darker crystal malts so ensure that we would have a nice dark Robust Porter with some residual sweetness. I also decided….no, I had an epiphany that we should use toasted coconut in this particular beer. It was going to be epic, and reminiscent of the South Pacific.
Hey, I was in the throes of beer-gasmic creation. Let me have my delusions.
Our final recipe for the beer ended up being the following (brewed on 5/23/2010):
- 10lbs Maris Otter
- 1lbs Victory Malt
- 1/2lb Cara-aroma Malt
- 1/2lb Black Patent Malt
- 1/4lb Crystal 60*L
- 1 oz Northern Brewer pellet hops (9.5%AA) added at 60 minutes
- Wyeast 1028 London Ale yeast
- 5oz Cocoa nibs added to secondary for 3 week “dry-nib”
- 4oz home toasted unsweetened coconut added to secondary for a uh…”dry-nutting” (that sounds dirty…hehehe)
OG was 1.054with 5.75 galls in primary (calculated OG was 1.063 at 5.5 gals, efficiency = 60%)
IBU was 43
color was 80-ish SRM
Brewing notes for the beer thus far are:
- Our mash temperature ended up higher than we wanted at 157 *F vs the planned-for 152*F. I think in the long run this will benefit the finished beer by providing a good residual sweetness to accentuate the cocoa and toasted coconut.
- We did a 1 hour boil and neglected to take a preboil gravity reading..meh
- We nearly cooked the yeast, by “smacking the pack”and leaving it in the sun for 45minutes or so to allow the little yeasties to wake up and propagate. They didn’t fully cook, but I think we did stress them a bit, as there was no yeast activity in the fermenter for a good 30 hours after pitching the yeast in there.
- Beer was racked secondary in 6/6/10 on top of the 5oz cocoa nibs and 4oz freshly toasted unsweetened hippy organic coconut shavings. The gravity at this point had dropped to 1.013, right as expected. Tasting the sample proved my thoughts in residual sweetness correct. I think this will be outstanding provided that any oil from the coconut doesn’t completely obliterate the head.
So, that beer was done and in the carboy by 2pm on a beautiful day for brewing. Joel had to jet off to a family event, but Tony had planned for a day of brewing and beer. We had already brewed one batch, that left beer to be had. A short while into our beering, my lovely wife Stacie asked why we weren’t brewing another batch.
Ihadn’tthought of it. It was pure genius. Of course, I was starting to feel buzzed at that point. I took a quick look at my available ingredients and decided we had the makings of an interesting IPA.
I whipped up the following recipe for 5 gallons:
- 12lbs Fawcett Optic Pale Malt
- 3/4 lbs Dark Munich
- 1/2lbs Cara-aroma
- 1/4lbs Cara-Amber
- 2oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) as First Wort hops
- 1/2oz Warrior pellet hops (17.2%AA) added at 60minutes
- 1oz Willamette whole hops (5.5%AA) added at 10minutes
- 1/2oz Warrior pellet hops (17.2%AA)added at 5minutes
- 1oz Willamette whole hops(5.5%AA) added at flameout
- WYeast 1084 Irish Ale yeast
We do not yet know what this beer would end up being going into the carboy. This is the beer that Ninkasi will not allow. The following has kept this beer from being born:
- On 5/23, we had mashed in and all was going well. Tony went outside to transfer the mash kettle off the burner in order to heat the sparge water. In so doing, my twins decided it was a good time to get under foot. They NEVER get close when I brew. They must have been sniffing paintchips again, because they broke the cardinal rule on this day. Tony over-corrected his positioning of the mash kettle, and down it fell on the driveway, spilling sweet wort and grain everywhere. Luckily neither he nor the twins were burned or hurt….. My mash/boil kettle however did not survive the fall, having flattened itself when it hit pavement. Oddly enough, the glass floating thermometer did NOT shatter. It’s all good Tony, you saved the kids and yourself from irreparable harm, showed great restraint in not throttling them for their misdeed, and I get to upgrade my brewery. In the meantime, I will make sure Tony’s loaner kettle stays nice and shiny for him.
- Memorial Day weekend was my next target date for trying this beer. What I did not plan for was the wall-to-wall sunshine that Sunday that would beckon me to mow the lawn for 6 hours…. without a shirt….and forgetting the sunscreen. Nor that night when I would get a little too deep into my cups and further dehydrate myself. I awoke on Memorial Day hating the sunlight and the fact that my clothing felt like sandpaper on my back. There would be no brewing this day, only after sun lotion, Tylenol, and large amounts of water.
- And again this weekend. Once again, I got into it on Friday night, so Saturday had beer very far from my mind as anything to make or consume. Then today, when Mother Nature decided we would have a monsoon in the morning with high winds the rest of the day.
This “W-IPA”, as I have come to call it, will be brewed. Perhaps Karma is telling me to revise the recipe. As I look at it again, it seems a bit thin in the hopping. Any brewers that read me, feel free to chime in with your thoughts. This is meant to be an IPA, nothing imperial/double strength or “strip the enamel from your teeth” bitter. Critiques are welcome.
I shall ruminate on this for the week.
I will ask myself “What would FSM Brew?” as I climb the beer volcano and keep an eye out for pirates attempting to overrun the stripper academy.
I will do all things beer-y to get myself in Ninkasi’s good graces.
I have decided I need more hits to this blog
So I am going to stop my prefunctory spelling checks:
eny thoughts on this owt their? 
Bi-weekly rant on the Democrat & Chronicle
For previous articles, please see: A rant and farewell to my computer and Is this really how you brew???
Once again, I was hoping it wouldn’t happen. I awoke this morning with a gnawing, burning feeling deep in the pit of my stomach.
It was Tuesday.
It was time for the bi-weekly “Keg Lines” article in the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle.
I was willing to actually give this week a fair shake when I first read the article. Firstly, they were supposed to be writing about what equipment is needed and how to brew an English Bitter, as mentioned at the end of their last article. Fantastic! It’s pretty difficult to screw up kettles and fermenters and sanitation and how to brew what is most likely a beer kit that involves no weighing of the sugar… sorry, grain, hops, or yeast.
Second, when I first read the article this morning I was not even close to fully awake. These damned long weekends with their wall-to-wall sunshine and seemingly endless consumption of that liquid elixir we all love (that would be beer if you aren’t keeping track) really take their toll on a person. I was happy to be in the office for at least 8 hours of peace and quiet, but I digress…
My point is, my brain was not yet firing on that crucial 4th cylinder. I felt like a vintage Volkswagen bus climbing a 2% grade. I was not ready to view the world yet. I was in a kind and forgiving mood.
I was forced to read the article a second time at lunch, after Joel and Tony expressed astonishment that I had not yet become a raving lunatic.
Once again, I shook my head. Then I felt the bile rise up my gullet and was forced to stifle the shrill screams of one that has just been raped from the inside out…. My brain hurt once again.
Let’s deconstruct this decomposing pile of “journalism”:
- First and foremost, you’ll need to make sure everything is as clean as possible.
Ok, there isn’t much I can complain about here. Cleanliness is very important in brewing. I would argue that anything used for brewing before the boil (mash tuns and paddles) or during the boil (kettles, hop bags and brew spoons) need only be not coated with crap from the prior brew. Anything used to touch or contain the beer after the boil (funnels, strainers and fermenters, bottling buckets, wine thieves/turkey basters, tubing and clamps… oh and bottles and caps as well) needs to be sanitized. More on this in 3…2…1…
- Hot, soapy water generally does the trick, although folks sometimes add a small amount of chlorine to the water as a disinfectant.
Good, sweet 8 lb, 7oz Baby Jesus! If you look towards the moon this evening, you will plainly see my head orbiting our planet’s sole rocky satellite. Here is the deal:
- Soap is what is known as a “head killer”. Unless very thoroughly rinsed off with tap water that is commonly thought of as “not sanitary enough for brewing”, left-over soap scum will kill the head retention on your beer quicker than ants under a magnifying glass.
- The only “soap” I use in any of my equipment is the occasional 24 hour soak in PBW or OxyClean Free. Even then, I only use these on my fermenters and rinse the bejeebus out of them.
- Uh.. chlorine is already added to tap water as a “disinfectant”… they mean that some people add Clorox bleach to the water. This is not a good idea unless you use the proper concentration to avoid…
- While this (ed: adding chlorine) is perfectly safe with proper rinsing, you run the risk of creating a beer that smells like your swimming pool.
A very slight redemption for our local jesters, Adam Travis and Bryan Clutz. I really have no qualm with this particular claim. I erroneously once used a too-strong solution of bleach water and then did not rinse adequately. I ended up with 5.25 gallons of a beautifully clear Blonde ale that tasted and smelled like the local YMCA pool. I forced every last bottle of that batch down my gullet to teach myself a lesson…. and no, I did not drink them all at once.
- Several homebrewing supply companies make a sanitizer that does the job without contributing off flavors or smells.
Great! Perhaps in your research you might have actually, you know, written down what these sanitizing products might be? Exactly what pieces of equipment need to be sanitized? To fill in the gaps for these two yahoos:
- You will need to sanitize any equipment that will come into contact with the wort after boiling, and after it ferments into beer. This includes (but may not be limited to): Racking canes and tubing, funnels, strainers, wine thief/turkey baster, your fermenter, bottling buckets, bottles, bottle caps, hose clamps/shutoff clamps, Airlocks and bungs/stoppers…
- Iodophor is an Iodine based sanitizing product that is a true “no rinse” sanitizer. One capful of the sanitizer is added to 5 gallons of cool water. The recommended contact time for this solution is 3 minutes, and after mixing with water it will remain effective for about 24 hours.
- Star San is an acid-based sanitizer that is also a true “no rinse” product. 1 oz of Star San mixed into 5 gallons of water will only require a 1 minute contact time to thoroughly sanitize your fermenter. A mixed solution of Star San can be retained and will be effective until the pH rises above 3.0. This sanitizer will create a good amount of foam as you are pouring water on top of it, and dumping the solution out of your fermenter or bottling bucket.
- Acidified bleach solution. This was promoted as the most effective sanitizer a while back. The story here is that a straight-up bleach and water solution is too high in pH to be truly effective (around pH=12 I seem to remember). In order to bring this down to a more acceptable range, it is mixed with an acidifying agent… most commonly White Vinegar. In order to avoid making Mustard Gas in your bathroom or kitchen, this should be mixed as follows:
- add 1/4cup bleach into the empty vessel to be sanitized
- pour 5 gallons of cold water into the vessel to fully mix the bleach in
- add 1/4cup White Vinegar and mix well.
Sanitation should occur within 10 to 20 minutes, which is quite a bit longer than either Star San or Iodine-based solutions. The advantage to acidified bleach, however is that it will kill damned near anything that is in your fermenter/bucket, or anything that you place in there for ancillary sanitation. A very good article that is referenced on numerous brewing forums was actually originally published by the American Society of MicroBiology.
Moving on now:
- First, you’ll need a large brew kettle that holds at least 5 gallons. We recommend a stainless steel stock pot. Do yourself a favor and buy a high quality one;
Actually, do yourself a favor and buy yourself not only a 5 gallon kettle, but also a larger kettle. Even better, buy a 5 gallon kettle along with a turkey fryer kit that will come with a burner and a 7.5 gallon kettle. This will allow you to perform a full wort boil of between 6 and 7 gallons, and thus increase the efficiency of your hops (and lower the amount of hops needed, which = more money for beer!!!) Let’s face it; this is a hobby, and like all hobbies, we will always be upgrading our equipment, tailoring it to our needs. You will want that 7.5 gallon kettle eventually, just buy it at the beginning.
- A good thermometer is also essential. If your wort is too hot when you add the yeast in, you could kill it.
This is very true. However, long before you get to pitching the yeast (the ever so technical step above of “add the yeast in”), you need to make sure that any grain that you steep or mash remains within a particular temperature range commonly held to not exceed 170°F. To allow your grains to broach this temperature, or even to boil, will extract harsh mouth-puckering tannin astringency that will NOT age out of your beer no matter how much yeast you add, living or dead.
- Next you’ll need a fermenter. … for your first batch, you’ll be just fine with two large buckets and tight-fitting lids. One bucket will be used for the primary fermentation, the second for the secondary fermentation before bottling.
Again, this is largely true. In the grand scheme of things, though, you will not often require a bucket or carboy for a secondary fermentation. A majority of beer styles just do not require a secondary, and to use them at this stage as a very new brewer — before your processes and sanitation procedures are second nature — is to invite oxidized beer or an infection. Standard strength ales (alcohol content of 2-6% abv) don’t need a secondary. Lager, Pale Ales, IPAs, and fruit beers will need a secondary, as will high alcohol brews such as Barleywine, Imperial Stouts, and many of the e’er popular Belgian styles.
- Some of the more serious homebrewers out there invest in a wort chiller, a coil of copper tubing that connects to your sink and uses cold water to cool the wort as it’s transferred to the fermenter.
What they describe here in the mechanics is an Immersion style wort chiller. Then they explain how a Counterflow wort chiller works. Semantics, I know, but it sounds scary to a new brewer that you have to chill your beer AS it is being transferred to the fermenter.
- An Immersion wort chiller is a coil of copper (some are Stainless Steel) that is placed inside the boiling kettle to chill the wort. One end of the chiller connects to the sink or garden hose. The other end is the effluent side, which is allowed to flow either down the drain or onto the ground, or for the more eco-friendly brewer, this water is reclaimed for cleaning and sanitation operations or even for the next brew (if you are brewing back-to-back batches).
- A counter flow wort chiller involved snaking uncoiled copper into a garden hose. The wort is pumped through the copper in one direction and into the waiting (and sanitized!!!) fermenter, while cold water is run through the hose in the opposite direction. This style of chiller could be used in a gravity-fed manner, though it is simplified and more brewer-friendly if food grade pumps are used to push the wort through the copper.
- Unless you’re using a fancier fermenter with some sort of spigot or filling nozzle, you’ll want to pick up a bottle bucket and a bottle filler
The “Fancier fermenter” they would be referring to would be a ported Better Bottle. I am a big fan of Better Bottles. They are lightweight plastic, mainly oxygen impermeable, and allow you the chance to see your beer as it ferments. I am not a fan of the ported models, as I feel the spigot and racking accessory is horribly overpriced.
I also don’t understand the need for a bottle filler. Simpler is better, IMHO. The bottle filler (more commonly known as an Autosiphon) is apparently the way that brewers fill their bottles when they neither understand how basic Physics works, nor how to operate a tubing clamp. Siphons are easy to start by oneself; you just place the fermenter or bottling bucket on a chair, fill your racking cane and tubing assembly with water, cover one end, close the clamp on the other, place the racking cane end in the beer-filled vessel, open the clamp and place the other end either in the bottling bucket or bottle to be filled. We don’t need a special gadget with hard to clean internal areas to do it for us. You can see through the glass of a beer bottle; simply watch the level of beer fill and close the tubing clamp just as the beer reaches the top lip of the bottle. Now cap the bottle and move on to the next.
- Finally, if you’re really serious about your brew, consider having labels made. There’s a number of websites out there that print customized labels for homebrewers.
Or, you know, use MSPaint and MSWord along with Google Image Search (depending on what you want on the label, turn “Safe Search” to off…)… Or, if you are a little more computer or design savvy, download The Gimp and you can create some rocking designs yourself.
- With Father’s Day just around the corner,
Uh oh. I think I know what’s coming…
- consider getting Dad a ready-to-use homebrew kit,
Please, please, please!!!! Let them be talking about one of the start kits at Northern Brewer..
- available at many local retailers and online.
I know this isn’t where they are going, but how about a shout out to Beers of the World (new website with a homebrewing section!!!!, btw) or Sunset Hydroponics as local retailers?
I promised myself I wouldn’t cuss. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry… talk amongst yourselves….. Should we elect Obama to a 2nd term when he is seen in public drinking Coors Light? Discuss…
- Adam started out homebrewing in college using a Mr. Beer homebrew kit, and produced some delicious brews, 2½ gallons at a time…
God Damnit!!! Who the frakkin’ HELL in their right frakkin’ mind would recommend this shitty “system” to new brewers that want to actually brew! Jesus jumped up Christ! This is like telling someone they can recreate an Emeril Lagasse recipe with a Easy Bake oven! For the love of all that is good and right in this world, the Mr. Beer kits don’t even instruct you to BOIL the damned wort!!!
Look, go ahead and buy a Mr. Beer kit. Then take the nasty-ass stale f’d-up ingredients and throw them right the Hell out. Now, go out and buy real Malt Extract (Light or extra light), real hops, and boil a 2.5 gallon batch, cool to yeast pitching temperature, and pitch in a WYeast smack pack, or White Labs vial, or a sachet of Fermentis or Safale dry yeast.
- The most important part of homebrewing is having fun. Relax, experiment, and be prepared for failure. Adam has a bacon-flavored porter in the fermenter
Yes, homebrewing is all about relaxing, experimenting, having fun and appreciating the best hobby ever. Yes, also be prepared for some failures here and there…. Be especially prepared if the only reading you do about homebrewing is from the Keg Lines articles.
Bacon beer seems to be the “new thing”. Everyone has their super hyped up IPA with 10 quadrillion IBUs and has been freeze-distilled to 190 proof these days (Brewdog, I am looking at you! ). Bacon beer, for that matter CAN be done, but you have to prepare the bacon in just the right manner to extract as much of the fat before adding it to the beer…otherwise you have a flat, rancid, rotten waste of good beer and even better bacon. That is a crime punishable by death in 16 states and at least one province in Canada. Do I wish them luck in this particular endeavor? Sure, I want everyone to succeed in their homebrewing exploits. Do I have any confidence that it will work out? Uhm, have you been following the homebrewing articles these guys are writing?
- Samuel Adams Boston Lager went from the kitchen experiment to World Beer Cup winner in just a few weeks.
Well, shit, I must be doing this whole thing wrong then. I’ve been brewing since 2005. Something tells me that Boston Lager took just a smidge longer to win the WBC than just a few weeks. Hell, it takes at least 3 months just to get approval from the TTB… and that is if you have all the proper information to submit the first time!
Oh, and whatever happened to that English Bitter recipe they promised? The supreme amount of suck in their article this week must have taken that part right out of their memory banks.
It appears that this will be their last homebrewing related article. It really is too bad, as I really, truly want to give these guys a chance and see them redeem themselves. I guess in the end, though, we will have to wait another two weeks and see what gems Adam and Bryan have in store for us then.
In the meantime, please rest assured that my blood pressure registered a very safe 101/67 with a pulse of 75 at one of those pressure test things at the neighborhood Wegmans.
