A rant and farewell to my computer

For related articles in this series, please see: Is this really how you brew??? and Bi-weekly rant on the Democrat & Chronicle

Well, my desktop computer has become “an unstable environment”. It seriously is moodier and has more issues than a high school cheerleading squad.

Unfortunately, this means that the last three recipes and brewdays will have to wait to be posted until I get a new harddrive, or at least get all of my data off the old one.

In the meantime, I wanted to mention an article that ran in the local paper here in Rochester. They have a bi-weekly column called “Keg Lines”, written by two local gents that proclaim to love all things beer (yet more often than not, their article sounds like a big shill for High Falls/Genessee Brewing…really, Dundee Honey Lager wins in a blind test over Stone IPA????…).

Sorry for the digression. The article in question was a quick and dirty primer about how to start up in homebrewing.

I have a few issues with some of the claims and omissions in this article:

• “So long as you are 21 years of age and older, do not brew more than 100 gallons per adult in the house each year and do not sell the beer you make, you are in the clear.”

This is not entirely true. Yes, the Federal government did set about a 100 gallon limit. However, this is not an ever-increasing tally for each adult in the household. You cannot pack a house full of 5 adults, and legally brew 500 gallons per year. The limits state explicitly that it is 100 gallons per annum for an adult of legal age in YOUR LOCALITY, or 200 gallons per household. Also, homebrewing might be legal on a federal level, but as with most things alocohol related, the Feds have left the decision whether to allow homebrewing largely up to the states themselves. Utah recently became one of the last hold-out states to legalize homebrewing. There are still a of states that outright prohibit brewing beer in the home, such as Alabama, Iowa, Kentucky, Mississippi, Ohio, and Oklahoma . Other states limit the strength of the beer that homebrewers are allowed to make (South Carolina with its insane alcohol cap at 5.5% for homebrew). And other states still whose laws are murky and non-committal like Louisiana, New York, Maine, Nevada, New Hampshire and New Mexico, where the law neither explicitly allows or disallows brewing in the home and said laws are largely untested. (Note, some of the legality information was taken from Homebrewing Is Illegal which seems like some items may be a tough out of date).

The bottom line here is this: Check with local and state statutes to make sure you really are “in the clear” when it comes to homebrewing.

• It turns out it is cheaper to make your own brew once you have invested in all the necessary equipment

Really? This might be true if you never upgrade your equipment, move to larger batch sizes, only brew all grain by mashing your grains yourself rather than using extracts, and you buy all of your ingredients online in bulk.

Take, for instance a standard alcohol level (6%abv) batch of India Pale Ale: Brewing with extract, this batch can easily cost $78.20 to produce 48 bottles… or $39.10 per case. There are many micro-brewed beers to be had at or below this price. That isn’t to mention that a “cube” of the common offender beers (Bud/Miller/Coors/Genny) costs around $16 for a case of 30 cans. Yes, we are comparing apples to Brussels sprouts here, but the ppoint is that the Keg Lines guys are setting potential new brewers up with a false expectation that they can brew and drink cheaper after the initial startup costs (about $150 for equipment alone), which just ain’t gonna happen.

In slight contrast, if I brew a similar recipe at the same alcohol level by bashing my own grains (all grain), the batch would cost around $53 buying the ingredients as needed. The cost drops to $32 if I plan ahead and purchase bulk grains and hops online…That still works out to the same cost as one of those ubiquitous “cubes”, which don’t take 6 hours out of a Saturday and i don’t have to wait for 6 weeks for a “cube to be ready to drink.

I won’t even get into equipment upgrade/replacement costs. Let’s just say that Stainless Steel or Aluminum kettles are expensive. Glass fermenters are expensive. Trips to the ER for cutting yourself on one of the aforementioned glass fermenters when you drop it runs $50 if you have good insurance (this does not cover rehab for possible damaged nerves, btw).

Hobbies are NOT cheap. We do not brew to save money. We brew because it is something we enjoy doing. It is one of the few hobbies that will provide you with something tangible at its’ conclusion…. And for the women out there, you know where we are and that we are safe (unlike certain sports, boating, cycling, and any extreme sports). OK, moving on now…

• So if you really like summer beers year-round but can’t find them in the store in December

Just a small gripe with this one. Apparently, these guys have never been to Beers of the World. You can very easily get out of season beers there. Maybe even the summer beers from last year. A reminder to beer consumers, look at the labels for “born on” dates, or “Best by:” dates. If they don’t have one and the bottle is dusty, keep moving (unless it is a strong ale, barleywine, or imperial stout…then buy them and send them to me. I will give you my address)

• A good place to start would be to pick up some literature. Designing Great Beers by Ray Daniels…

Wrong!!!! A beginning brewer will not learn much of anything behind processes and why we do things when and how we do them by reading this book. If any of you reading this decide to start homebrewing, save this book for later in your career, when you decide it is time to begin devising your own recipes. That is the main strength and point of “Designing Great Beers”, and it has served me very well every time I want to delve into a new style. Sadly, though it does not cover Belgian style beers, Sours or Lambics. For those, check out “Brew Like a Monk”, by Stan Hieronymus.

The authors do go on to suggest “The New Complete Joy of Homebrewing”, by Charlie Papazian, which actually is a decent introduction to homebrewing. It is fairly light-hearted, though I found Charlie’s attempts at humor a touch distracting and glib at times. The major points are hit upon in this book, and it covers all levels of homebrewing, from straight extract kits to triple decoction mashing.

An even better starting reference book that I recommend to everyone is “How to Brew”, by John Palmer. Not only is the 3rd edition of this book available in print, but the 1st edition may be found for free at http://howtobrew.com/. The print version, 3rd edition is slightly updated with some malt and hop information, but the online version is still very relevant, and more up to date than Charlie P.’s seminal tome.

Lastly, there are numerous books with just recipes for homebrewing. One to keep an eye out for is “Brewing Classic Styles”, by Jamil Zanaisheff and John Palmer. Jamil is the current “internet darling” homebrewer, having won many many awards at the national level. This book is basically filled with his own award winning recipes…every style. He has won that many ribbons.

• So, Keg Line guys, where do I buy equipment and supplies???

Yeah, the Keg Lines article definitely dropped the ball on this one. The Rochester area has two homebrew stores (ok, 3, but one of them is a satellite store). Most every other week, these guys shill for Genessee brewing company, I would hope under the guise of helping local commerce and not because they are on the dole. Yet, the one chance they have to truly promote local business, they fail.

Beers of the World in the Winton Plaza, Brighton, NY has the most experience in the area as a homebrew supply store. True, their main focus is in selling actual beer, but all of the guys there brew at home and are willing to help out and provide insight and guidance to newbies.

Sunset Hydroponics is the other local homebrew shop (LHBS in parlance). These guys are working into the homebrewing arena. They first started carrying supplies for homebrewing in 2007, and as time has gone on, they have taken suggestions for inventory and presentation from local brewers. These guys have an online store, something that Beers of the World does NOT have at the moment. Disregard their spelling errors, please. Their prices are decent both online and in-store. Plus, for anyone in the Rochester area, Sunset Hydro allows you to purchase your grain in fractional amounts. That means that if your recipe calls for only 1/4 pound of a certain grain, you can buy just what you need. Beers of the World, while a great shop, requires you purchase in full pound increments… then you and 3/4 pound of a grain you may or may not need for the next 6 months or more.

Those are my gripes with the article. I am waiting to see what the article covers next week with ingredients and styles to brew. I am sure I will have another diatribe by Tuesday evening.

I understand they are getting new brewers into the fold. I am completely fine with that, in fact, if they can increase members to the local club (Upstate New York Homebrewer’s Association), then kudos to them. What I am not okay with are the glaring omissions and errors and partial information that they are starting people out with. It’s like watching Alton Brown’s “Good Eats” brewing episode, only in print format.

Well, that’s about the end of that rant. We have a busy weekend, visiting some friends and brewing a batch on Sunday before we return home for the normal daily grind. Until we return, brew well and drink wisely.

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